Get Lost!

What happens when we have a plan and we make a turn that is not part of it? We turn left when we needed to turn right or we run into an unexpected detour that takes us far out of the way that we need to be going. Sometimes, we are able to regroup, recover and re-route. Sometimes we are able to get back on the path of “the plan.” Other times, whether we like it or not, we get lost. Just lost. Sometimes, getting lost though is exactly what we need, whether it is geographically, mentally or spiritually.

The road maps change continually. Where we think we want or need to go changes also, for many different reasons. Life, in general, is continually in flux with unexpected surprises around every corner – some good, some not so much. Creatively, I often have goals or intentions for what or how I want to photograph a subject. Often, I experience road blocks and need to veer off one course and onto another. In this blog, I will share just one of these detours and how I meandered, along with the images that came through “going with it” and getting lost instead of fighting the block.

The deep dark curves of a dahlia.

THE BACKSTORY

This past weekend I spent time at one of my favorite places – Pharsalia, in Tyro, Virginia. I was attending a flower arranging class with one of my favorite people, Foxie Morgan. If you didn’t know, it’s dahlia season now. Part of the class included cutting all our flowers (lots of dahlias!) from the field and creating an arrangement to take home. Whatever flowers remained in our buckets also made their way home. It was a wonderful experience and provided very much needed therapy. We arrived home early evening on Saturday.

My “plan” was to spend Sunday photographing my hand-picked dahlias in a variety of different ways. I didn’t do any of that. The blooms remained in the bucket on the hallway floor, probably begging for a new home and some flower food. I did, however, address the yellow dahlias that were in my lovely arrangement for a little while. Where I thought I would be going with them photographically didn’t happen. I had gotten “stuck.” Try as I might, the stuckness remained, and the bucket dahlias remained in the bucket.

Foxie and me after the class. (Thanks to Jeff for the photo!)

One of Sunday’s Yellows

THE BARRIER AND THE BREAKTHROUGH

Monday of this week was a new day, and I had placed “shoot flowers” on my list. They were there – my destination, my assignment. Meanwhile, there were other items on the list that got ahead of the dahlias. Silly me, I thought that if those other things were crossed off the list, it would free me and my mind up creatively to photograph with intention. I was planning to try some different ways to interpret the dahlias. I had a smaller side list of those ideas to follow and check off.

Finally, in the late afternoon, I got the bucket from the hallway floor and placed the freshly trimmed stems in several vases and bottles. Many falling petals reminded me that I had waited longer than I should have to rearrange them. My Monday List and I co-conspired to implement just one of a few barriers between me and my dahlias and all my good intentions for them. Really, though, it was me. I had changed the route. The session was originally third on my list. I was the one who veered, not the list.

Yellow with the Lensbaby Sweet 22 and macro filters

Sunday’s yellow with Lensbaby Sweet 22, macro filters and Omni crystal

Nevertheless, I backtracked and moved all the flowers to my back patio. I brought my camera and the necessary accessories out with them. Once again, I tried to execute my plan. Part of the plan was to simply sit with the flowers for FIVE minutes without camera in hand. Just five minutes to be present, observe, and then begin photographing and leaning into my observations. I didn’t even make it two minutes! My mind was restless and unable to focus. Remember, I had ideas and “plans” for these beauties.

I realized that I was my own barrier this time. Once I acknowledged that, I gave up. I let go of the plan, but I stayed with my dahlias. Instead, I said to myself,” Okay, now what?” What I saw before me was colors and curves, and I decided to embrace them and my lack of focus. No plan anymore, just go with the flow. Letting go without judgment was my breakthrough.

The getting lost and recovery – that is the meditation.

— Dan Harris

FOUR HOURS OF “GET LOST”

At this point, I had everything I needed. I had my camera, a few of my Lensbabies, macro lens, macro filters, tripod and, most importantly, the flowers. I gave up on paying attention for five minutes and began to dig in. I reminded myself that this time was for me and not about trying to create any masterpiece. It was about being in the moment and doing my art. It was about doing the thing that feeds my mind and feeds my soul. I let things be out of focus. I let myself take some not-so-great images. I let myself tap into where I was – restless and slightly out of focus. I was no longer result driven. I let myself breathe. I let myself get lost in the colors and the curves. Before I knew it, nearly four hours had elapsed. I had been “in the zone.”

By allowing myself to “get lost,” I had given myself exactly what I needed. I didn’t “judge” the process or the results. In doing so, I believe I created the images I needed to create. This was in those hours far more important than checking off a box or two on my list of goals for the dahlias. I am grateful for that “lost” time. I needed it, more than I had realized.

Getting lost along your path is a part of finding the path you are meant to be on.

— Robin Sharma

Dahlia with Lensbaby Double Glass II and macro filters

More explorations …

Imperfect and still beautiful

LESSONS AND FINAL THOUGHTS

Sometimes, the plans we have are just starting points that provide the framework for us to fill in the blanks, have a direction and some semblance of a goal and destination of sorts. Someone shared with me many moons ago that “life is what happens when you have other plans.” Very true. We cannot see ahead or plan for the detours and road blocks. We face them as they come, sometimes gracefully, sometimes not. As a longtime list maker, I realize that not everything goes as anticipated or desired. While not easy to do, it is helpful to find ways to let go of the expected and somehow find a flow to go with. I have to do this every single day, whether I like it or not. Practice does not make “perfect.” It only makes it just a little less hard.

Goals are good. They push us past and outside of our comfort zone, often. Change is not always easy for me, and it takes me a long time to let go of perfect (a most impossible and impractical goal).

And all the little petals said, “Cheeeeeeese!”

A single petal aloft in cloud of color

In this most recent session, I re-learned that it was okay to just be, to just see where the time with my dahlias took me. I re-learned the value of simply “doing” without an end goal. I discovered the value of “getting lost.” I hope that when you find yourself struggling to check off a box that isn’t working, you, too, allow yourself to get lost. You may, as I did, find exactly what you needed, whatever that may be. I wish you well in the journey and encourage you to be kind and patient with yourself when it feels hard. Don’t give up or quit. Instead, GET LOST and enjoy the ride!

Getting lost is just another way of saying ‘going exploring’!

—Justina Chen Headley

Petal Curling

Petal Trio

Surround me with your beauty.

Lost (and found) in the heart of a dahlia.